Here I Write
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
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Difficult
Quite honestly, part of me wants to become a difficult person so that people will try harder to please me.
Being generally content with day-to-day life, I tend to get overlooked a lot. Then there are girls I know who never stop complaining and wanting more. Though the girl is never pleased, people keep trying and trying to please them. So those girls keep getting and getting, people keep trying, harder and harder, but she still never is content. Perhaps people don't try things for me because they don't realize I want it, too.
I'll just say it now. In general, even though I, or other seemingly chill people, may not directly say that they want something (and we might be genuinely okay with not having it), we still love little surprises. Especially girls. I don't know how guys feel about it, but girls love being surprised with little random details. I don't really expect little surprises and little details to be taken care of, but it actually means something to me when it happens.
My roommate bought me a little bag of M&Ms today and gave it to me when I got back from school because she knew I was having a rough day. She is amazing.
My first graders gave me hugs and told me they missed me today. They made me feel like this is worthwhile.
I am loved. And I try not to complain. But every now and then, it happens. Then I feel bad. Sadly, it's been a string of difficult days lately, and I feel like I should send out a giant apology note to everyone I've talked to lately. Usually I do my best to be happy and silly. I'm trying to get back into that.
Anyone want to share some peanut butter M&Ms with me? :)
Monday, 02 November 2009
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One More Week
That's it, that's all I have left with my students. One week. At the end of this week, I'll never teach them again. I never thought I'd be SO SAD. I knew I'd be a little bit sad, but I didn't think these 20 first graders would manage to steal my heart so easily and quickly.
Conclusion: I'm rearranging my next (last, woohoo) semester's schedule so I can come and visit some days. That's all there is to it.
Sigh.
Saturday, 31 October 2009
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Simple Life?
I am content to live A Simple Life. By this, I purely mean living simply. Nothing extravagant is needed to live a happy, blessed life.
In no way am I referring to living The Simple Life. Yes, there is a difference. To me, "The Simple Life" conjures up ideas of remaining in small-midwest-unbearably-near-farms-town America for the rest of my life. No no no. Cannot do. Well, I can. But I'd rather not.
Never would I ever:
- Choose to live here simply because of the location. The people here, my loved ones, are the only bit about this area that I would stay here for. And, yes, they're totally worth it.
Me and my (ever so simple) costume :)
What do you think?
How do you feel about living The Simple Life?
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
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Swirl Swirl Spin
In Science, my students are studying liquids. Since they are in first grade, I basically let them examine a whole bunch of bottles full of different types of liquids (water, soap, oil, lotion, honey, etc.) and tell me some properties of them. One of their favorites was "tornadoes." This is where they pick up the bottle, twirl it around in their hand a few times, and watch the liquid twirl around and around if it is a type of liquid that will tornado. While reflecting on my lessons today, I could almost imagine my brain swirling around and around my head just like the liquid in the bottle. Corny illustration? Yes. Truthful? Also yes.
What's more, I'm no better off than some of my students. Try as they might, they couldn't always guess correctly what it was that was swirling around in that bottle. Likewise, whatever is swirling around my head isn't definable at this point. It's just spinning enough to upset and disturb.
Settle, mind, please settle.
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
Thanks, Relient K....
Pulse
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Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad, Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not...
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all I want to do is... curl up on a couch with a blanket and watch a movie.
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working on resume and cover letter... it's like real life homework.
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